what to do when your partner has a sleeping problem

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Poor sleep doesn’t just kill your workday, it kills your sex drive too. Image: iStock


Olivia Arezzolo lets us in on how to deal with a partner who is keeping you awake at all hours.

Partners. There’s so many things to love about them, except when they keep us awake.

Rather than have a sleep divorce, the technical term for sleeping in a separate room as a permanent solution, consider addressing, and overcoming, the issue together.

Strengthening your relationship and saving your sex life in one – win win.

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Problem: they can’t fall asleep at night

You go to bed at 10pm, yet they crawl in at 2am after a night of Netflix, waking you up in the process. This is incredibly annoying and, of course, disruptive to your sleep schedule.

Remedy this by encouraging a shared bedtime routine, and shared sleep goals. Identify key reasons why it benefits you as a couple and individuals – and reflect on this each week.

Do it in an ‘accountability’ session and you’re more likely to stay on track. The American Academy of Training and Development found that you’re 95% more likely to achieve your goals when you have a scheduled check in with an accountability buddy.

Problem: they wake frequently through the night

Sleeping together is all fine and dandy until they get up – over and over. Be it from bathroom visits or anxiety, their tossing and turning can leave you wide awake too. Solution?

First, have smart lights in your bedroom and bathroom and choose ones that don’t give off blue light. These lights do not suppress sleepiness hormone melatonin, so should they rouse, they are able to return to sleep easier.

Second, should they not be able to return to sleep within 20 minutes, encourage them to get up. This keeps them from being awake for long periods in bed, which is one of the biggest no-no’s of sleep hygiene.

They should go to the lounge, read or listen to a meditation, and only return to sleep when they are just about to fall asleep.

Problem: they snore

“Stop snoring honey, you’re waking me up.”

“My partner says I snore too much, but I can’t help it!”

Sound familiar? Research shows having a snoring partner makes you 3 times more likely to report symptoms of insomnia. That said, it doesn’t just cause you a problem – it compromises their sleep quality too.

With insufficient air passing through their airways, your snoring partner is more likely to wake up toss and turn, and struggle to stay in slow wave (deep) sleep. As a result, you both wake up feeling fatigued and foggy. So – what to do?

My first recommendation is to avoid alcohol, it encourages the airway muscles to collapse making snoring worse. Second, consider laser snoring treatment, clinical research indicates a success rate of 70-95%. Further to that, as with most laser treatments, it’s non-invasive, quick and painless.

Remember – the benefits of sleep – less stress, improved mental health, fertility – are assets to you both.

Happy co-sleeping Sleep Well Wednesday’s community, be it for the cuddles or those orgasmic o’s, I trust you this article will serve you well.



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